I know it’s not kind to laugh at dumb pilots but I can’t stand it any longer! What’s wrong with these people?
~I’ve got him on the fish finder
~4305 with a flash
~4305 on the magic box
~10-4
~We’ll slow her on down (Must be in the Southwest manual, they all say that.)
~29.92 in the window
~ Ah Ah Ah (Didn’t you know you were going to talk when you pushed the button?)
~Got the nod to hit the sod. (Responding to cleared to land)
~Any traffic in the area please advise
~Kill the rabbits
~Gear down and welded
~Airport traffic, Cessna123 turning left final
~Airport traffic, Cessna 123 is downwind #2 following a Cessna who’s following a Piper on base.
~Unicom what’s the active runway?
Some of my favorites responses…
SWA1425 we’ll try to make that restriction
SoCal: No, you will make that restriction.
SoCal:Columbia 123 reduce to 120 knots
Columbia 123 unable
SoCal: Columbia 123 make a 360 for spacing
Columbia 123 reducing to 120 knots.
UAL 412 checks in out of FL230
Me in training: United 412 cross xxxxx at 5000 cleared for ILS runway 23 approach.
Approach that would be damm near acrobatic
App: (my trainer) UAL 412 cross xxxxx at or above 5000 cleared for ILS rwy 23 approach
SoCal: Cessna 123 I’ve been were 17 years, until now I’ve never seen anyone hold west of Paradise.
Cessna 123 Can I have vectors to cable airport?
SoCal: Fly heading 090. Cable airport is 6 o’clock 10 miles.
SoCal: Cessna 123 report Montgomery Field in sight, 11 o’clock 7 miles
Cessna 123 has Montgomery Field
SoCal: Cessna 123 Montgomery Field now 10 o’clock 4 miles, verify you have it in sight.
Cessna 123 yes it’s right on the nose.
SoCal: Cessna 123 that would be Miramar. Did you see the movie Top Gun?
the fishfinder one drives me nuts. TCAS is a great safety innovation but until controllers start saying “report the TCAS contact” we really only care if you have traffic in sight.
I don’t think pilots are saying they have them on a TIS/TCAS display in lieu of visual contact. The communication, in my impression, is that the pilots are looking for the traffic and using additional, auto-updating, reference points to assist in locating the aircraft.
Essentially, “Yeah, I see what you’re seeing too, and we’re looking.”
Sometimes I wonder, but I believe what you are saying is true most of the time. However It’s really not helpful. The simple “searching”, “looking for traffic”, etc. suffices.
Just on the ground, flight 958 Polar Air Cargo(PAC). The captain didnt like the FO. giving a visual on the TCAS traffic to approach controller when controller gave a last minute divert to 25L when on base for 25R, LAX.
I was taught by my CFI to use three of those “phrases” in my flight training.
~Any traffic in the area please advise (on first position report on CTAF)
~Airport traffic. Cessna 123 turning left final
~Unicom “Cessna 123 is X miles from the airport, inbound for landing, request traffic advisory” (little different than your excerpt)
If these are incorrect/inappropriate, throw me a bone. I try to be as professional as possible in the air and don’t want to be the brunt of jokes among fellow pilots.
“Any traffic please advise.” - This phrase was never part of the FAR/AIM and never has been accepted. When you make a radio call on CTAF, this is implied. Any traffic that hears you and thinks they need to call will, and others won’t. Plus it ties up the frequency that much longer.
“Turning left final” - As opposed to right final? Crosswind, downwind, and base can all be either left or right, but final is final.
“Unicom, traffic advisory” - This is my all time favorite. Unicom is not responsible for monitoring traffic…period. This fits into the same category as asking Unicom for weather or active runway, not their job. The only thing Unicom is good for is talking to the FBO about fuel or other arrangements.
One more of my pet peeves when it comes to radio traffic, is people using the term Unicom instead of Traffic. (ex. Airport Unicom, Cessna turning base) Once again, Unicom doesn’t care where you are, but the traffic at the airport sure does.
agree w/ davysims …I also have heard the phrases in the air approaching an uncontrolled field. And I have commented on them…just not so eloquently, I monitor the unicom freq no less than 10 miles out just out of prudence…and I call in with a make, numbers, position relative the field,altitude and my intentions. Sometimes not necessarily in that order…but you will know where I’m at and what I’m planning to do all the way to final.
How do you have time to get all worked up about things such as “Any traffic please advise”?
I don't use this statement myself, don't think it's really necessary, but I could also care less if someone says it. This is common around some of the larger university operations, and has likely spread from there. Sort of an informal reporting system for the instructors to get a big picture of traffic "in the area", not just in the pattern.
Same for the "traffic advisory" thing. Again, around some training intensive airports, I've heard UNICOM operators respond with some form of traffic information in addition to winds, runway in use, etc... Add to this a couple new pilots learning, and mixing up, phraseology and you have a new radio call.
Why aren't you outraged that many pilots say "point" instead of the ICAO standard "decimal"?
Certainly there are other things that pose more of an operational challenge or safety issue that we can be all worked up over.
The “Any traffic please advise” argument has been hashed, and hashed, and rehashed… I know that the AIM says that it’s not acceptable phraseology however, it works.
There are two uncontrolled fields in CO that we frequent and there have been numerous times that we’ve entered the airspace, been released from center, even monitored the CTAF prior, and have “heard” no other traffic calls. When we make our initial report and use the controversial phrase, invariably there’s someone who thinks that they’re out there all alone “in the patch”…(there’s one for you Frank) that wakes up and responds. Nonstandard phraseology or not, it works…
I definitely agree with the reasons for not using them. At my home airport DTS (Destin, FL) it is situated in controlled airspace with basically two corridors to come in and out of so we are on with Eglin AFB until at most 5-10 miles away (depending on WX) so when we switch over to CTAF and talk to Unicom (which provides us with traffic pattern, RWY in use, and traffic in pattern) I also will ask of any other traffic to advise because we have banner tow aircraft along the beach which are very close to the traffic pattern, navy/air force helicopters daily transitioning from Eglin and Hurlburt to Tyndall along the beach, several experimental aircraft, and on weekends a TON of private and charter jets in and out of the northern corridor to land at DTS so with an uncontrolled airport and the amount of activity around me, I ask and announce a good bit to avoid any problems just to be safe. There have been several instances with aircraft not on freq and no one knows their intentions.
and will you never go wrong with doing it that way. We all have our way…as long as the communication is there. I’ve gotten a little tongue twisted because of the callsign of the A/C and I’m sure I probably was ridiculed in somebody’s cockpit.
Nonstandard phraseology or not, it works…