Just For Laughs...Pilot Humor


#1

Has anyone heard any really funny, or unusual radio transmissions lately…or any other interesting pilot jargon they would like to post?

To start:

Cessna 65777 (a 172-S model) doing traffic patterns at Deer Valley Airport in Phoenix…

" Deer Valley Tower…Triple Seven with you on the visual for RWY 7 Right…"


#2

I don’t know that I “get” that one. Is the joke that their abbreviated tail number could be construed as an aircraft type?

Also, are you sure it was doing pattern work? An initial call “on the visual” sounds like an IFR arrival.


#3

Yeah…he was on his third touch and go…

I guess he wanted to impress the other traffic in the pattern with his “Triple Seven” statement (as in Boeing 777) but he didn’t seem to get the desired results:). Instead tower called back and sarcastically said “state full call sign” after which he sheepishly made a FULL STOP landing…


#4

From the cockpit to passengers:

"Ladies and Gentlemen…from the flight deck, this is your captain speaking. Current conditions reported at Boston are partly cloudy with a light breeze out of the southwest. We are expecting an on time arrival of…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Captain Screaming)

A few moments later (after many cries of horror from the passengers)…

“Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain again… I apologize for the exclamation…the flight attendant was pouring my hot coffee when she accidentally spilled it all over my lap…you should see the front of my pants!”

When the announcement was complete one of the passengers shouted “Yeah…you should see the back of mine!”


#5

Ah! You didn’t mention that this topic wasn’t strictly limited to true tales!


#6

No No…Any pilot humor goes…so long as it is aviation related:)


#7

From a 5th Grader…

WHY I WANT TO BE A PILOT

When I grow up I want to be a pilot because it’s a fun job and easy to do. That’s why there are so many pilots flying around these days.

Pilots don’t need much school. They just have to learn to read numbers so they can read their instruments.

I guess they should be able to read a road map, too.

Pilots should be brave to they won’t get scared it it’s foggy and they can’t see, or if a wing or motor falls off.

Pilots have to have good eyes to see through the clouds, and they can’t be afraid of thunder or lightning because they are much closer to them than we are.

The salary pilots make is another thing I like. They make more money than they know what to do with. This is because most people think that flying a plane is dangerous, except pilots don’t because they know how easy it is.

I hope I don’t get airsick because I get carsick and if I get airsick, I couldn’t be a pilot and then I would have to go to work.

------Purported to have been written by a fifth grade student at Jefferson School, Beaufort, SC. It was first published in the South Carolina Aviation News.


#8

Bunch of other jokes and stuff here


#9

I like that one.


#10

More humor here:
http://www.airodyssey.net/articles/jokes2.html


#11

When I die, I want to die peacefully…blissfully asleep…without a care in the world…oblivious to all around me…like my father. Not like his passengers, screaming, terrified of the crashing plane they were in.


#12

Nice one Tim:)


#13

Some classic Far Side… click for larger view.

http://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e356/magnetoz/other/Far%20Side/th_farsidemyhat2a.jpghttp://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e356/magnetoz/other/Far%20Side/th_farsidelarson1.jpghttp://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e356/magnetoz/other/Far%20Side/th_farsideturb.jpghttp://i43.photobucket.com/albums/e356/magnetoz/other/Far%20Side/th_FarSide1-14.jpg


#14

HAHAHAHAHA…those are very good ones.


#15

WOW THOSE ARE FUNNY!

:laughing:


#16

cartoonstock.com/lowres/hsc1033l.jpg

The title of the picture if you go to that URL and scroll down is:

“Smart Bombs for Dummies”


#17

cartoonstock.com/lowres/jmi0186l.jpg

Also funny…


#18

San Jose Tower Noted:
“American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able… If not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.”

==========

==========

Tower: “Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7”

Eastern 702: “Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.”

Tower: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?”

Continental 635: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern… we’ve already notified our caterers”


#19

A bit off-color!

http://sidesplitters.catastrophe.net/arch/2003/airplane-mooner.jpg

Then there’s always…


#20