Alitalia


#1

I bought my parents a portable DVD player for X-mas as they had planned 2 cruises with long flights from BOS this year. The first was a Mediterranean cruise from Barcelona in which they flew Alitalia and the second is a Hawaiian cruise and they are flying Delta.

They get on the Alitalia flight 619, a 767-300, from BOS to Milan last week and after the meal had been served they unpacked the DVD player. A male flight attendant walks by asks them what movie they are going to watch etc and tell them to enjoy. They no sooner get the headphones on when a female flight attendant comes over and starts yelling at them to “SHUT IT OFF IMMEDIATELY” and that they could not use it My dad then tells her that other flight attendant said they could use it. She then proceeded to tell them that any electronic device could cause the engines to shut off at any time on that type of aircraft and DVD, CD players, and computers with DVD players are not allowed. My father said “Excuse me?” as he was shocked at what she had just said. She said something to the effect of “you heard me, shut it off now.”

They did not bother trying to use it on either flight between Milan to Barcelona (Airbus A321) as it was not really long enought to bother with, though they did see people using them. On the way back today they flew Alitalia flight 619 another 767-300. This time they asked the Flight attendent if they are able to use it and again they are told no as it could cause the engines to stop.

Has anyone else ever been told anything like this (over 10k ft of course)?


#2

I believe those flight attendants would fall under my broad catagory of STUPID PEOPLE!!!


#3

You’re being way too kind, Pika. These are not only stupid people but very stupid people whose first and foremost job is to ensure the safety of passengers in case of an accident.

If Alitalia’s engines can be shut down by a very low wattage device such as a DVD player then you can be assured I won’t fly them!


#4

Now now, boys, stop picking on the poor flight attendants! Any passenger can storm the “re-inforced” cockpit door, slam his portable DVD player down onto the center console, and get the handy porta-strap caught on the throttle controls, thus (once autopilot is disengaged) reducing thrust to the point of an engine stall. Jeez, why are they allowed to even TAKE the darn things onto the plane? …They’re like little LCD boxcutters!! :wink:

(Don’t even get me started on that nasty laser beam!!)


#5

You’re right, Planeaholic. I completly forgot that Arab terrorists, contrary to the mass media, actually used DVD players to hijack the aircraft.


#6

I was actually thinking about this at 3:30AM (Thunderstorm woke my 6 month old son up).

Where was her logic behind telling someone they couldn’t use a portable DVD player. If you strip it down to the basics, it is the EXACT same technology that a CD player uses. Laser, LCD, small motherboard, gears…

Next time, ask if he/she (or with statistics to back me up, the majority of male flight attendants could be classified as she) tells you or someone around you to not use a portable DVD player, ask if the people using CD players have to turn theirs off, too. RUIN THE FLIGHT FOR EVERYONE!!! If you can’t have fun, nobody can!


#7

They would not allow anyone to use a CD player either. From what my father said it seems as Alitalia has the flight attendants convinced that any use of these items will cause the engines to stop.


#8

Freaking Italians…


#9

Was Alitalia charging money to watch the onboard movie?
Perhaps it is more a case of them trying to generate revenue and using the engine shut down story (what a crock) as an excuse.


#10

Suuuurrreee…come up with a reasonable idea…


#11

Yo! That’s freakin’ Eye-ties to youse!

Guido


#12

At first thats what I wondered but dad said they were giving out the headphones for free.


#13

Of course, using the CD player WILL shut off the engines … 100% fact!

Alitalia was losing hundreds of millions of lire a year and about to meet the same fate as Swissair when their genius Board of Directors ordered the ultimate cost-saving move. All engines in the Alitalia fleet were modified to save 85% of in-flight fuel.

The ignition systems were replaced. Alitalia now uses only MIT-trained aeronautical monkeys to strike matches in a precisedly timed sequence so that each engine will burn a puff of fuel and then hibernate until the next match is lit.

However, MIT students being what they are, if the monkeys see a passenger viewing King Kong or another super-hero movie through the cabin windows, they will instantly climb to the window to watch.

With no matches to ignite the jet fuel, the engines shut down and the plane crash within 30 seconds.

I’m surprised that no one had seen this in the Milano Figero newspaper. If you had seen it, you’d know that the flight attendants are doing their jobs, saving lives from plane crashes every single night of the year.


#14

:laughing: That is so cold on so many levels!

Thanks for the night’s guffaw Toby.